Well this morning was nerve wrecking to say the least.
I got up, had my breakfast and watched friends, before getting ready to get my train.
I was shaking like crazy, fear is an awful thing! In return for my anxiety and being upset yesterday, my stomach started acting up, typical!
I ended up taking a Xanax, even though I didn't really want to, but my anxiety was that bad I kept thinking of excuses to get out of having to go to college.
I guess I'm just still in shock with what happened yesterday. We haven't heard anything more about it yet but it is still early.
I managed to get my butt to the train station, after a few tears of fear. When I was waiting at the station there was an announcement, that the train would be delayed by 20 mins. Already the day was starting out pure sh*te.
Once I got on the train, the Xanax kicked in and I just lay back and listened to music, the time flew by thank god.
I got to the college and headed straight for the studio. I literally wanted to be in and out, thankfully no one was there, because I really wasn't in the mood to have to deal with anyone. I know I sound like an a**, but I just wasn't in the mood to put on a face and pretend I was fine.
I packed up my outfit and just as I was finished I noticed something was missing.
Ok let me explain this, we had to pay €20 for rational pads for our exhibition, these are like sticky notes with information about our collections and contact information for each of the students. I noticed everyone had one apart from me.
The pads are quite big and most people had loads left but I had none, so I hardly think all of mine had been used up.
So either I am over thinking the situation, or the college never put mine out.
In that case they owe me €20.
I swear steam came out of my ears I was that frustrated and annoyed, because this meant that I could have missed out on opportunities because my contact information wasn't available.
I know I seem like I am over reacting, but that college has destroyed my confidence in my work as well as my ambition, with the way I was treated this year.
OK enough about that.
I got the train home and headed straight for a coffee, James was still in work so it would just be me and my book.
I went upstairs to the roof top terrace because it was actually nice out for once.
When I got up a friend of mine and James was there so I sat with him, and we had a great chat about the Avengers movies.
James then arrived when he finished work, and we stayed for another coffee.
Later I got home and had something to eat. I also started cleaning the sitting room, because I'm trying to free up some space for me to work on some videos.
I kid you not, I think I have done more cleaning this past week than I have the whole year, ha ha. Yeah I'm a messy person!
I'm sitting here laughing at some of my posts, I'm always giving out about something! Maybe that should be another goal of mine, stop complaining and just get on with it!!
Although it has been a rough few days, James has been keeping my spirits up. We had a great laugh today, just joking around. I honestly don't know how I would deal with all this if he wasn't here with me.
We have been through so much together already, but we always get through it together and I think that is a very important thing in a relationship!
After dropping him home, I chilled out in my room and watched Keeping up with the Kardashians.
I wrote a list of things I wanted to do over the next few days, just to keep myself busy.
I am thankful that my trip to Dublin went smoothly, I'm just glad that it is done and now I can focus on getting my work done for August and enjoying my summer.
Thank you for reading.
Love,
Tanya
xxx
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