Tips For Coping With Anxiety

The following tips are things I find useful when I'm suffering with anxiety. Anxiety is different for everyone and the ways in which people deal with it are also different.
I have found many tips online and some have helped and others not so much.
I have decided to share these with you in hope they may be of use to someone suffering with anxiety.

1. Listen to Music

Music has been a huge part of my coping mechanism when it comes to my anxiety. My anxiety tends to be at it's worse when I travel, so I always make sure I have head phones, a full battery on my phone, and my old IPod just for back up.
When I am on the train for example, I will put on a playlist of my favourite songs and close my eyes. While listening to the music I focus as much as I can on the lyrics and try to think of them as a story. This has worked so well for me over the past 3 years and when my full attention is on the lyrics I completely forget about my anxiety.

2. Read A Book

Reading is great for the mind and has been proven to help with ones memory. For me reading is a great way to escape my problems, and dive into a completely different world.
I try to read as much as I can, even when I'm not anxious. I always read a book on the way home from college, mainly because I have an hour long journey and it is the perfect time to get some peaceful reading done.
Sometimes if my anxiety is extremely bad I do find it difficult to focus on the book, but when this happens I take a few minutes to breath, try to relax myself and then I start reading.

3. Play a game on your phone

Playing games on my phone, like Candy Crush for example, was another great distraction for me. If I had a hospital appointment and I knew I would be waiting for a while, I would bring my book and a fully charged phone. Waiting around in one place for too long is also an anxiety trigger for me. I would play candy crush while I waited, because I would be so engrossed in the game I wouldn't even notice the time going by. In the case that my lives run out I would have my book as a back up. Always be prepared!

4. Meditate

 (Not my image, taken from Here)

When I say meditation I don't mean sitting legs crossed and humming, this may work for others but not for me.
My form of meditation is easy, you can do it in public and no one would even notice.
I basically sit straight, feet flat on the floor and I just breath. I focus all my attention on my breathing, I don't force a breath I just breath as normal. By doing this your body calms itself naturally. It is a very simple step and with enough practice your body will do the relaxation on it's own. I do this step if I know I am going to be in a situation that will cause me anxiety. There are times where my anxiety will have already hit me and I can't focus on my breathing because I'm so worked up. In these cases I turn to the next thing, which is almost always my music.

5. Go For A Walk

Getting out for some fresh air, whether it is going for a coffee or simply going for a walk. I find if I am stuck in doors too long I can begin to get irritable and restless. I make sure I get out of the house everyday even if it is just for an hour. Walking can also be a great form of meditation, make sure to observe your surrounds, look at that is going on, what are people doing?. This will help you focus on something else other than your anxiety.

6. Surround Yourself With Friends/Family

One of the best forms of medicine in my opinion is laughter.
Surrounding myself with my friends has definitely helped me when I was extremely down in the dumps.
I remember I decided to go out to a friends party one night, but I wasn't drinking as I had to be up early to write my thesis. At this time I was really struggling with life and when I went out everyone had me in tears laughing, I smiled for about 3 days after, just down to the fact I was out with friends who I hadn't seen in a long time and I was having fun.
If you are feeling in need of a friend, contact one of them. Arrange to go for a coffee, see a movie or invite them around for a sleep over. Even if they can't do it straight away, the excitement of arranging a date will help boost your mood and it will give you something to look forward to.

7. Write it Down

Writing down what is going through your head when you are anxious, is the best way for you to actually analyse your situation. By doing this you can take a step back and really ask yourself why this makes you feel anxious, is it worth it? do I even need to be anxious?

For some people it is a great thing to do and for others it doesn't work the same, but the best way to find out is to give it a try!

If you have been on my blog before you will know, I have been documenting everyday in my road to recovery and this is my way of looking at the situations I have faced and seeing what the outcome has been. So far I am finding it to be very useful!

8. Have A Nap

When things get a little too much to handle taking a nap can help you to just escape for an hour or so.  I find when I get anxious and worked up I become drained and this doesn't help the situation. When you are tired it is very hard to focus and think straight, so taking a break and having a nap is the best way to relax and rejuvenate. When you wake up you will feel better, and you will be able to look at your situation with a calmer and more energized mind.
If it is the case where you can't have a nap, try something else, go for a walk, have some lunch or do something that will give you a break and time to refocus.

9. Remove yourself from the Situation

Sometimes walking away is the best option when the situation you are in is causing you anxiety.
I understand walking away isn't always going to be an option. For example, in my case college caused me a lot of anxiety and I couldn't just drop out, because that would of meant I was giving into defeat. Fighting through college was something I had to do for myself, but for others walking away may have been the best thing for them!
In situations where walking away is an option then do so. If there is a fight between friends and you are feeling anxious, walk away!
If you are in college and you are feeling anxious, go out for some fresh air, take a break and give yourself room to breath. When you feel more calm go back and face your problem with a much more clear mind.

10. Positive Thinking

No matter how big or small your problems and struggles are always stay positive!

When I was in college, I was always doubting myself and my work, I was losing confidence in everything I was doing. Once I started thinking negitive I had to tell myself to stop and stay positive!

I believe 100% that positivity can make a huge difference in ones life. Always facing a situation or a problem with positivity will give you a much better result than facing it with negativity in mind.

When something is coming up that is going to make you anxious, think to yourself I can do this, I will survive this obstacle and I will get what I want!

Something I always do is get a positive quote from Pinterest.

Save it as your screensaver on your phone, so every time you look at your phone you will see the quote and that will remind you to stay positive!
Another idea would be to write quotes on sticky notes and place them around your house/desk/car, where ever you feel is the best place, so when you see them they will remind to breath!

I believe the only reason I managed to finish college was because of my positivity and my ambition!

I wanted that degree, I wanted to show myself I could, I wanted to prove to people who doubted me that I could do it, and I did it, even with anxiety!

If you are positive that you will over come your anxiety and its triggers, you will, even if it takes a year or 5 years, you will over come it!

No matter how many set backs I have faced or will face I will still stay positive and believe that some day I will over come my anxiety!

I hope these tips will be of use to you, remember anxiety is different for everyone, and it is all about trial and error!

Try different techniques and don't give up until you find the best one for you!

Leave me a comment if you have any tips for coping with anxiety, I am always open to new things and I would love to hear from you.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 29: Family Coffee Date & More Cleaning

I woke up early enough today, I had my breakfast and watched the new episodes of Scream and Pretty Little Liars, pretty amazing morning!

When I was done, I decided to try my new foundations, I put on the light shade of the L'Oreal Infallible foundation.......I was ORANGE! 

It was horrible, I was actually shocked at how dark it was for the 2nd lightest shade!

I didn't open the other 2 bottles because they will also be too dark. I will return them tomorrow when I am in town and I'll keep the one I opened as a foundation for when I'm wearing tan.

I was so tempted to go into town to get myself a coffee, but the weather was pretty awful!

My sister wanted to go to Costa to get a mint cooler, so we said we would wait and see if mam and dad wanted to come with us. They did.

It was fun having the whole family together for a coffee.

After the loss of my cousins husband, it just really made us think that time is precious and you should spend as much of it with your family as you can.

When I got home, I was planning on doing some design drawings, but I ended up cleaning my room!

I pulled out all the draws and boxes from under my bed, I hoard so much stuff it is unreal. 

I decided to dump anything that isn't being used. I allowed myself one storage box for keepsakes and if it didn't fit in the box it had to go!

I will admit, it was hard to get rid of some things, for example a wooden cabinet my auntie bought me a few years before she died. Ive kept it on top of my wardrobe but it has started to fall apart and it is beyond saving. I had to make the hardest decision to throw it out, even though it is the only thing I have left of her other than photographs. But sometimes you just need to let go!

My sister came up to help me sort through somethings, we found old diaries that we both wrote in. The 2 of us fell about the floor laughing at the things we wrote about when we were 10 years old!

It began to get very late and I was still sorting through things, at one point I was so tired I just ended up putting loads into the bin just so I could get it done. 

I gave up at about half 11, anything that I still have left to sort through is in a pile in one corner of the room, which I will sort out tomorrow.

Getting into bed I was in so much pain, I couldn't put any weight on my left side without falling over. I'm just not used to all the hard work (what my mother would say). 

I'm pretty happy with how today went, I'm finally making progress with my room, and let me tell you, it feels amazing. Just seeing all the black bags for dumping puts a smile on my face!

I can finally walk around my room without tripping over something!

Tomorrow I have to return the foundations to boots, I also need to edit the DIY video and hopefully have that up before the week is out.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 28: New Make-up & A DIY Video

Today didn't start off very productive, I woke up early and then fell back asleep!

When I eventually got up I sat down to watch the new episode of Scream, but it turned out not to be on until tomorrow, devastated!

After lazing around for a few hours, I decided to get up and take some pictures for my blog.

Later I went into town to meet James, we went for a coffee in our usual spot. 

Before heading home I went into Boots, there was a 3 for 2 offer on L'Oreal products, so I bought 3 of their foundations. I got the L'Oreal True Match foundation and 2 bottles of the L'Oreal infallible foundation.

Although it is mid week, we decided to get a Chinese, we were both too lazy to cook. I need to get back on track and stop eating take-aways, I want to lose weight for my holiday, which is only 8 weeks away, ahh. 

After dinner, I set up my camera to film a DIY video.

I started filming at half 6 and didn't finish until 10pm. I know it seems like a very long video, but it was mainly because the product had to sit for about an hour or so.

When I was finished filming I sat down to edit a new blog post, which should be up soon.

I noticed lately that I only seem to get productive at the end of the day!

I think the main reason for this is because of the medication I am on for my Anxiety. I have to take them at night to help me sleep, but when I wake up in the morning I feel hungover and like I haven't slept in days. This feeling can sometimes take up to 2 hours to wear off.

I still have to make my appointment to go back to see my doctor, hopefully they will reduce my dose so I can begin to wean myself off them.  That should be fun!

Tomorrow I have the whole day to myself, as James won't be coming over so I have a few things planned for the day. 

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 27: Do I ever stop complaining?

Well this morning was nerve wrecking to say the least.

I got up, had my breakfast and watched friends, before getting ready to get my train.

I was shaking like crazy, fear is an awful thing! In return for my anxiety and being upset yesterday, my stomach started acting up, typical!

I ended up taking a Xanax, even though I didn't really want to, but my anxiety was that bad I kept thinking of excuses to get out of having to go to college.

I guess I'm just still in shock with what happened yesterday. We haven't heard anything more about it yet but it is still early.

I managed to get my butt to the train station, after a few tears of fear. When I was waiting at the station there was an announcement, that the train would be delayed by 20 mins. Already the day was starting out pure sh*te.

Once I got on the train, the Xanax kicked in and I just lay back and listened to music, the time flew by thank god.

I got to the college and headed straight for the studio. I literally wanted to be in and out, thankfully no one was there, because I really wasn't in the mood to have to deal with anyone. I know I sound like an a**, but I just wasn't in the mood to put on a face and pretend I was fine.

I packed up my outfit and just as I was finished I noticed something was missing.

Ok let me explain this, we had to pay €20 for rational pads for our exhibition, these are like sticky notes with information about our collections and contact information for each of the students. I noticed everyone had one apart from me.

The pads are quite big and most people had loads left but I had none, so I hardly think all of mine had been used up.

So either I am over thinking the situation, or the college never put mine out.

In that case they owe me €20.

I swear steam came out of my ears I was that frustrated and annoyed, because this meant that I could have missed out on opportunities because my contact information wasn't available.

I know I seem like I am over reacting, but that college has destroyed my confidence in my work as well as my ambition, with the way I was treated this year.

OK enough about that.

I got the train home and headed straight for a coffee, James was still in work so it would just be me and my book.

I went upstairs to the roof top terrace because it was actually nice out for once.

When I got up a friend of mine and James was there so I sat with him, and we had a great chat about the Avengers movies.

James then arrived when he finished work, and we stayed for another coffee.

Later I got home and had something to eat. I also started cleaning the sitting room, because I'm trying to free up some space for me to work on some videos.

I kid you not, I think I have done more cleaning this past week than I have the whole year, ha ha. Yeah I'm a messy person!

I'm sitting here laughing at some of my posts, I'm always giving out about something! Maybe that should be another goal of mine, stop complaining and just get on with it!!

Although it has been a rough few days, James has been keeping my spirits up. We had a great laugh today, just joking around. I honestly don't know how I would deal with all this if he wasn't here with me.

We have been through so much together already, but we always get through it together and I think that is a very important thing in a relationship!

After dropping him home, I chilled out in my room and watched Keeping up with the Kardashians. 

I wrote a list of things I wanted to do over the next few days, just to keep myself busy.

I am thankful that my trip to Dublin went smoothly, I'm just glad that it is done and now I can focus on getting my work done for August and enjoying my summer.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 26: Devastating News After Devastating News

I ended up staying in my uncles last night, as they didn't get in until late.

Myself and James woke up at 12pm, my little cousin was in and out of the room playing with his toys, so we decided to get up because Ireland is set to play at 2pm and I want to get home to see it.

My uncle dropped us off to my house, and then myself and dad dropped James home.

As soon as we got back home, Ireland scored a goal in the start of the match, so as you can imagine there was a lot of cheering out of us and our neighbours.

Unfortunately we didn't win the match, but I have to say the lads played well.

After the match I worked on a new blog post, my top 5 back packs.

I just wanted to keep myself busy so I wouldn't get myself worked up about my trip to college tomorrow.

When I finished my post I went up to my room and watched the first Captain America, it was actually amazing. I ended up watching the second movie straight after the first one was over.

My mam walked into my room crying, she told me my cousins husband died suddenly this afternoon, I was in such shock. I ended up out in my garden crying because I didn't want anyone to see me, I just can't believe it.

It has just been devastating news after devastating news. I didn't even know what to do, like what could I do. I feel terrible for my cousin and her 2 kids.

I went back to my room and changed my bed clothes, again trying to stay busy.

I lay in my bed and continued to watch the movie, although I kept zoning out, just thinking about how my cousin must be feeling right now.

When the movie was over I had a bath and then got straight into bed. I watched half of the 3rd Captain America movie before I fell asleep.

It was a good day up until the end, but I know its all part of life, but still I feel like he was robbed of his future, and he won't be able to watch his kids grow up. O.K I'm going to stop talking about it now, I just can't write any more.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

My Top 5: Back Packs

Back packs have become a staple piece in my summer wardrobe.
I never liked carrying back packs, but over the last month or so I have been reaching for them more so than shoulder or cross body bags.

I love that the back pack does not fall off my shoulder like my 1 strap bags.

I think back packs are perfect for the summer, especially if you are attending any festivals.

I thought that I would share with you some of my favourite back packs, which I have found on clothing websites. 

iclothing.ie

€40.00 Now €26.95 

I chose this bag as one of my top 5 back packs, because of it's simplicity.

I love items that are minimal, but are still quite elegant. I love the leather look of the fabric and the clean cuts.

 River Island

€35.00

What I loved most about this bag was the laser cut detail and the subtle gold hardware. It seems like a small bag, but I definitely think you could fit a lot in it. This bag is also available in white. 

 Topshop

€55.00

I love the military style of this khaki denim bag, I think the badges give it character. Due to the style of the bag, you could personalise it by adding your own badges. 

Missguided

€37.24 

This bag is by far my favourite from all the bags mentioned. As you may have noticed I have been embracing the western look lately. This bag would be perfect for a festival, paired with the double buckle belt from Topshop, or the triple buckle boots from Shoe Box (can be seen in my Summer haul post).

Zara

€39.95 Now €29.99 

I love the unusual style of this back pack. The subtle gold hardware has a magnetic closer underneath to close the bag. I personally love Zara's innovative approach to product designs.

 

I hope you enjoyed this post, leave me a comment and let me know your favourite style of back pack.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 25: Still Emotional & Filming

Today things are still a bit emotional after yesterdays loss.

Myself and James decided to have a chilled day, we went up to Costa with my parents for our Sunday coffee. Dealz was the next stop, we picked up a few treats to have later, while we watch a movie.

When we came home, I decided to do a video (Summer Try on Haul), When I was done we chilled in the sitting room for a little while.

Later I had to go to my uncles house, because me and James where babysitting my cousin.

I brought my laptop, so I could edit my video and do some blog posts.

We sat and watched Independence day, but I was focusing more on my editing.

Later we ordered pizza and sat down to watch Space Cowboys, it was alright, wouldn't be my go to film.

I pretty much spent the rest of the night working on my blog and video.

Tomorrow (Sunday) Ireland is playing France in the Euros, so I'm looking forward to see how that plays out.

Sorry this wasn't a more interesting post, but I'm going up to college on Monday, so that should be eventful.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Summer Clothing Haul - Try On

Here is my latest Youtube video, it is a try on video of all the clothes I have bought recently for the summer.

I purchased clothing from Littlewoods.ie, among these were brands, V by Very, Vera Moda and Shoe Box. Other stores I purchased from were River Island and Topshop.

The following are images of the clothing from the websites with the links and prices.

I hope you enjoy the video, if you would like to see some styled looks featuring any of the items in this video, please leave a comment here or on the video.

Items Purchased:

Littlewoods.ie 

V by Very Cut Out Back Swing Tunic

€24.00 Now €14.50

 V by Very Cut Out Embroidered Jersey Vest

€32.00 Now €29.00

V by Very Crinkle Strappy Cold Shoulder Blouse

 

€32.00

Vero Moda Crinkle Open Top

 €26.00

V by Very Crochet Cold Shoulder Dress

 €35.00

  

Triple Buckle Western Detail Ankle Boot

€52.00 Now €26.00

River Island

Khaki asymmetric slip dress

€37.00

Topshop 

Double Buckle Western Belt

€26.00

Thank you for reading and watching.

Don't forget to leave a comment if you would like to see some styled looks.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 24: Losing A Part Of Our Family

Today was probably one of the worst days this year. 

I got a text from James during the day telling me his dog Tia was very sick and they were going to have to put her down.

I sat out in my garden, balling my eyes out, I didn't expect this to happen so soon.

Tia was 16 years old and she was an amazing dog, she never acted like an old dog, she was always so full of energy.

The past few weeks she started to fade, she was struggling to walk. We had a feeling she wouldn't make it for much longer, but we didn't expect it to happen so soon.

Today she lost all control of her legs and couldn't get up, James had to make the hardest decision he has ever had to make, he called the vets and got an appointment for her to be put to sleep. 

I walked to the vets to meet him and his family, I told myself I needed to be strong for them as it was going to be very hard.

As soon as they arrived and I seen James sister, we both ran into each others arms and balled our eyes out.

Just seeing Tia the way she was, was heart breaking. Even though I knew it was for the best it was still so hard.

We stayed with her through the whole procedure, and stayed even after it, we really didn't want to leave her.

It was a very very hard thing to see, but it was peaceful and she wasn't in pain anymore.

When we left we all just talked about the fond memories we have of Tia, we laughed and cried.

My most memorable moment with her was when she ran into a sliding door, god she never failed to make me laugh.

We lost a huge part of our family, but she will always be in our hearts and memories.

R.I.P Tia

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 23: Dumping Half My Room

Today was like every other day got up done some work and met James for coffee, It was a pretty good day and I didn't suffer any anxiety.

At the end of the day I made the worst decision......to de-clutter my room.

I started at 7 and didn't stop until half 10, I didn't even get it all done.

I started with my shelves and then went through all my make up.

I seriously have far too much make-up for 1 person, so I dumped a lot of it.

Now my make-up desk is all organized and it really makes me feel amazing, I know where everything is and I plan to keep it that way.

My room was that bad, every time I look at it I just want to cry, it makes me so angry when I can't find anything. 

It still isn't finished but I plan on dumping a LOT of things, just so it isn't cluttered or messy.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 22: I DONE IT!!!

I woke up as soon as my alarm went off, I lay in bed and thought about what I was going to do.
All I kept thinking was, he hasn't asked me to go with him, maybe he doesn't mind, maybe if I just stay in bed he will go without me.
BUT...I screamed at myself in my head and said NO, you are going with him for support and you are going to show yourself you can do it too.
So I got out of bed and got dressed, I walked into the kitchen and the shocked look on my dads face said it all. He said what are you doing up so early (7am), I replied, I'm going with you. He looked so happy and in return that helped push me a little bit more.
I had a quick breakfast and watched Youtube videos to keep my mind from wondering.
The closer we got to leaving, the worse my anxiety got. I didn't take a Xanex because I needed to do this on my own.

I managed to get in the car, shaking at this point. I put my head phones in and listened to music with my eyes shut. I tried focus on the music and to forget I was even in the car. Dad didn't mind this because he know what I am like with my anxiety.

Eventually after driving for about 30 minutes I calmed down slightly. The closer we got to the hospital the less anxious I was.

When we got there I felt relieved. We were out of the hospital within 2 hours.
I didn't get anxious like I usually do, when I have to stay in one place for too long.
We headed back home, on the way we stopped in Burger King and dad bought us food.
I was in such a good mood at this point, not only because I was getting food, but I was proud of myself for facing my fear.
My dad kept thanking me for going with him, this just added to my good mood, because I was happy I could give him the support and company he asked for.

Travelling home I didn't feel as scared as I did when I was driving to Dublin, probably because I knew I was going home.

When we got home, I chilled for a few hours watching the new episode of Pretty Little Liars.
Later we collected my mam and went for a coffee in Costa. We sat in and had a great chat, it is little things like this that really make me feel good.

That evening we watched Ireland beat Italy in the Euros, it was so funny. Myself and my dad sat in the sitting room screaming at the TV like any other supporter. The adrenaline I had was unreal, it almost felt like my anxiety, but I knew it was from the excitement.

That night I lay in bed and watched a new show called Guilt, it was actually quite good and they are only on episode 2 so I didn't have much to catch up on. I started suffering with another bad headache and chest pains so I decided to go to sleep.

I'm definitely proud of what I accomplished today, although it seems small and silly, it means a lot to me. I have to travel to college on Monday to collect some of my work, so that will also be another hard test I will have to face, but I am trying to stay positive and I'm hoping it will go smoothly like today.

For anyone out there reading this that suffers with anxiety, push yourself, try and face your fears no matter how big or small they are. It won't be an easy thing to do, but the proud feeling at the end is worth it.
The more we face our fears, the less we will be scared of them when we face them again.

Thank you for reading,

Love

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 21: Pure Motivation & Annxious Decision

Today was another productive day, I got up early and filmed another make-up video.
I really have been feeling pretty motivated the past 3 days and it feels amazing, because it's been a while since I fully felt pure motivation to get work done!

After filming my video, myself and James went into town for a coffee. When we were finish, James heading off and I went home to do some blog work, still feeling that motivation!

I spent maybe 2 hours working at home on my blog. My dad invited me to go get a coffee with him and to do a little bit of food shopping.
I ended up getting a decaf mocha because I already had my coffee, and I hate when I get caffeine headaches, not fun!

Later in the night I began to get very anxious and I felt like I was having little panic attacks. My dad has an appointment in Dublin tomorrow morning and he asked me to go with him.
I automatically began to feel my chest get really tight and my heart was racing!
I didn't really give him an answer, which made me feel horrible. I want to go with him to keep him company, but I'm terrified!

I am not a great traveller because of my anxiety, and I try to avoid going anywhere far so I don't get anxious.
When I was in my last few weeks in college my anxiety while travelling was so bad, I had to take Xanex just to get on the train.
For me travelling in a car is worse than getting a train!

I fought with myself for the rest of the night, telling myself that this is the perfect chance to face my anxiety and to show myself I can do it. On the other side my anxiety and doubt where telling me not to go.
After all the stress I put on myself over this little decision I made myself feel sick, I had a splitting headache and my chest was very sore.
I ended up going to bed very early, I felt that sick.

I will try get up early in the morning and see how I feel about the situation then, I just hope I can do it for him.

Thank you for reading,

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 16-20: Nightmares and Youtube

Last week I took a little break from my blog as I had other work I needed to focus on.

So I thought instead of updating 4 days worth of posts I thought I would just do a summary of main things that happened over the week.

Last week was pretty much my normal routine, but I did have some pretty bad days.

I had a few anxiety attacks during the week, and most of them I didn't understand why I had them. During those days I just chilled and tried to keep my mind from wondering off and thinking about things that would make the anxiety worse.

One morning I started having a panic attack in my sleep, and I woke up crying and I couldn't breath. I was actually having a nightmare about college and in the dream I was having a panic attack and so I actually had one while I was asleep. Honestly this has NEVER happened to me before, I was in total shock that it had happened. That night I was actually afraid to go to sleep because I thought the same thing would happen again, but thankfully it didn't.

Another morning I woke up and I generally just felt crap, for the whole day I just kept thinking horrible things about myself and my future. I ended up playing the Sims for the day just so I would be totally engrossed in something, that I couldn't think about anything else just the game.  

On the bright side I still had some good days, I filmed a video for my Youtube channel and after I finished it I couldn't stop smiling, I was just so happy that I managed to do something productive with my day.
Editing the was even more fun, I literally sat in the kitchen from 11am until 8pm just working on the video and drinking coffee.

During the weekend myself and James just stayed in my house and watched movies.

After my experience with the anxiety attack in my dream, I realised that college is definitely a trigger. I need to figure out a way to deal with it so I can move on from it. 

I am still taking anti anxiety medication, but to be honest I think it is doing more harm than good. I have a follow up with my doctor in July, so I am going to talk to them to see if maybe I could come off the tablets.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

GRWM - My Everyday Make-up

Today I managed to finally upload a new video to my Youtube Channel.
It has been months since I actually had the chance to do one, I'm a bit rusty but like everything I will improve.
I hope you enjoy the video and if you have any suggestions for new videos please let me know.
Don't forget to Subscribe to my channel if you want to see more :)

Thank you for Watching.

Love

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 15: Pain & An Uneventful Day

Today I woke up in a lot of pain, so I decided to take it easy. I got up, made myself eggs and put them on a bagel. I then went back to bed and watched the new episode of Scream, it is starting to get better, thank god!

I stayed in bed until early afternoon, I just curled up in a ball watching Youtube and Snapchat videos.
Eventually I gave up feeling sorry for myself, so I got up and started cleaning my room. No matter how much I clean my room, it never seems to stay clean for long. I find when my room is in a mess, it really doesn't do my anxiety or mood any good and I get quite irritable.

I had planned to stay in today and just relax but I ended up having to go into town to get food and markers for an illustration job I have to do. The walk helped with the pain, and it was great to get some fresh air. I hate being stuck inside, I find it doesn't do my mood any good.

I got what I needed and I also got my coffee, a day never goes by where I don't get my iced mocha!

Back home I didn't do much for the rest of the day, I just chilled out and done some blog work.

Although I was in pain, I'm happy I at least went out for an hour. Tomorrow I have a lot of work to do, so hopefully tomorrows post will be a bit more exciting.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

Road To Recovery Day 14: Movie Haul & Coffee With Friends

Today I got up and done my usual breakfast and watched Friends, after breakfast I washed my hair and done my make up.

I planned to go into town to try find some good thriller movies, I was really in the mood to watch something good but there isn't a lot of good movies on Netflix, that I haven't seen.
My sister decided she wanted to come into town with me, so we headed in as soon as we were ready.

We met James on our way in and we headed straight to CEX to find some movies. I ended up buying 4 movies, but they were all under €1 so that was great, the movies I got are old enough but I haven't seen any of them.

We headed to the coffee shop in town and I got my usual iced mocha. We sat outside because it was actually nice out, well it was dry.

I ended up missing a call from both my mam and Dani, my phone is always on silent!
I rang Dani back and she said she was sitting in my house with my mam, I told her where we were so she could meet us for coffee.
We all sat int the coffee shop for about an hour and a half. I love doing this, we all have a great chat and end up talking about the funniest things.

The town was empty after 5 o clock because of the Irish Euro match, but the pubs were definitely loud!

We all headed back to mine because the town was pretty much closed. We sat in the kitchen and had a nice long talk, myself and Dani came up with a few ideas for collaborations.

When everyone went home, I sat in my room and watched Keeping Up with The Kardashian's.

Today was fun, I loved catching up with Dani and planning collabs for over the summer.
I can't wait to get back into my videos, I keep meaning to film but its really hard to get back into them after not doing it for so long.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx

My Fashion Book Collection

I have always wanted to build a fashion book collection, so when I have my own house I can have a nice big book shelve full of books.
I finally have my collection started and I am delighted with what I have so far.
For today's post I decided I would share with you all my fashion books I have collected to date.

1. Chanel An Intimate Life

Coco Chanel has always been a huge influence in fashion. Although I had heard about Chanel, I never knew the history behind the designer herself and I always find designers life stories to be very interesting. Who where they before their brand?, why they became designers and what influenced them.
This book is all about Chanel's history and includes some photography.

I bought it last summer in Waterstones when I was going on holidays, but I only read a few chapters and I haven't read much since. I will definitely finish it soon, now that I am done college.

Price: €14.59

2. It's Vintage, Darling 

How to be a clothes connoisseur

My Friend knew I was collecting fashion books and picked this up in a charity shop for me.
This book is best described as a guide to bargain/charity/second hand shopping. It teaches you how to shop on a budget and still have the luxury items that we all desire.
Again I haven't fully read the book but had more of a glace though each chapter.

From what I have seen it is definitely an interesting book, I love charity shopping but I rarely find anything of good value.
Maybe when I do finish this book I will start to find little gems hidden among items in a charity shop.

Price: €9.99

3. Style Clinic

This book is another style guide, exploring the topic of dressing for your shape, style and budget.
I find books like this very handy for people who find themselves lost when shopping for clothes, and to be honest I am one of them.

Although I love fashion, I sometimes find it harder to dress myself than I do other people.
I have a difficult body shape to work with, so a lot of the time my body shape isn't suited to the latest body con dresses or crop tops.
This book helps you to understand that no matter your reason you can still look great.

Price: €24.50

4. How To Look Good Naked

Gok Wan has always been an inspiration to me, I used to watch all of his shows with my mam.
Buying his books was the start of my collection!
This book is based off the TV series 'How to look good naked'. It explores all body types from Juicy Girl to Cleavage Babe and teaches the reader how to dress for that shape.

Each chapter is a different body shape, and it goes through all items of clothing from tops right through to accessories, showing the reader the right style for their shape.
At the end of each chapter there are key words and sentences to remember when dressing for that shape.
The only downside I found in this book is, it is aimed mostly at a more mature audience. I still find the book very helpful, and I use the guides when I am picking clothes our for myself.
I still wear clothes I like even if they are not right for my body shape. For example skinny jeans, but lets get real, they are the most available style of jean.
Young or old I still think this book is good for anyone who wants to learn how to dress for their shape.

Price: €15.75

5. Work Your Wardrobe

This book is another favourite of mine, it teaches the reader how to build a wardrobe that won't go out of fashion.
Each chapter in the book is a different item of clothing, from the classic white shirt to Jewellery and bags.

Lets take the first chapter for an example, The White Shirt. In this chapter there are 3 main styles of white shirts, the classic, the pussy bow and the wrap.
Under these subheadings there are tips and styling suggestions for each, this layout is the same for each chapter.

I love this book and Ive read it several times, I even highlighted important pieces that I can find when I need them. I would definitely recommend it.

Price: €21.90

6. City Fashion Paris

This book was a little bargain find, I found it in a Dealz shop.
This book looks at the fashion scene in Paris. It has brief information on different fashion designers and accessory designers, who have made an impact on Parisian fashion.
In this book you can also find small entries on different places in Paris from museums, clubs and stores.

I have to say I love this book, I ended up finding designers I had never heard of and now I know their work, who and where they are from. One of the designers I found very interesting was Harry Halim, mainly because his designs remind me of mine, we both love dark fashion.
This book would definitely be a perfect coffee table book, just to flick through and see all the amazing work.

Price €1.49

7. City Fashion Berlin

This was another Dealz purchase, and it is exactly the same as the Paris book.
It features information and images of the work of designers based in Berlin.

To be honest I didn't find this one as interesting as the Paris edition, it is still a good book, full with information on the Berlin fashion scene.

Price €1.49

8. Enjoying Style & Fashion

This book is by an Irish fashion stylist Lisa Fitzpatrick.
In this book Lisa explored many subjects from dressing for your shape, beauty and body and her own style guide.

In this book you can see a lot of familiar faces from Twiggy to Eva Longoria, showing images of how they wore certain clothing items such as the trench coat. I love books like this that help you to find your style and what best suits your shape.
What I loved more about this book in comparison to similar books,  is the fact Lisa has put in images of different celebrities wearing the clothing being talked about.

Another thing I loved about this book was the interviews Lisa done, from designers to photographers and models.
This book covers all areas of fashion including, maternity style and even weddings. This book has something for everyone and is a very interesting read! Highly recommended.

Price: €13.64

9. Alexander McQueen 

Blood Beneath The Skin

My sister actually bought me this book for Christmas because she knew I was dying to read it, but I didn't have the time to read it unfortunately, but it is on my summer reading list!

Alexander Mc Queen has been a major inspiration for me as a design student and I've loved his work for as long as I can remember.
I knew all his work but I didn't know a huge amount about his life, so when I came across this book I was very interested in reading it.
I have seen many books about his life, but this one I felt most interested in reading for the simple fact it was written with the support of his family.

The book explores Mcqueen's rise to fame, from his early life to his untimely death in 2010.
I am definitely looking forward to reading this as soon as I am finished the book I am currently reading.

Price: €32.50

10. How To Set Up & Run A Fashion Label

I bought this book while I was in college, so I could learn a little more about setting up a fashion label.
This book explores all areas of setting up and running a fashion label from logos to Finance.
I will be honest it is an intense book full of information, but some of it can be boring, for example the different forms of partnerships, but all this information is important when considering setting up your own business.

Ive been on and off reading it, but it is an amazing book. I honestly have learnt a lot of things I didn't know and I still haven't fully finished the book.
It is broken into sections and is very clear about the subjects being discussed.
In the early chapters of the book it talks about the different areas in fashion, Haute Couture to Eco Fashion, and explains what is expected from brands who want to fall under one of these market segments.

One thing that I liked most about the book was the case studies, the studies were on different subjects using brands and designers.
One study I found interesting was on a young designer Yasmin Kianfar, it talked about how she used her final year of college to start up her fashion brand.
For anyone who is interested in setting up their on fashion label, this book would definitely be an investment, simply because it explores everything you would need to do in order to set up your company.

Price: €25.99

11. Fashion

The Ultimate Book Of Costume And Style

This book is a time line for fashion, starting from pre history to 1980's and onwards.
It is pretty much Wikipedia for fashion, each chapter is a different time in history right up to modern day.
I used this book when I was researching the Salem Witch Trials of the 17th century for my degree collection, although it didn't have a huge amount of information it had images and key points on the fashion worn by the men, women and children of that time.

It shows key details in the clothing of the different periods, for example the collars worn by women in 1625.
It is another perfect book for having on a coffee table for guests to flick through.
It would also be an investment for someone who studies fashion or anyone who likes fashion in general. It is handy to have when you want to look back and find out when different styles came about, like the corset.

It is packed full of cool sketches, painting and photography.
The layout of the book is very well done, the beginning of the book is the early years of fashion and the end of the book is modern day fashion.
One key area in this book I LOVE is right at the end. The Reference section, it has so many fashion terms, with all the meanings under the words, some even have pictures. It is like having a fashion dictionary.
It is an expensive book, but if you know you are going to use it and have a great interest in the subject it would definitely be a good purchase.

Price: €39.99

12. How To Dress

Although this book has similar elements to the other books, this book focuses mainly of dressing for certain occasions.
The occasions focused on in the book are work wear, weddings, holidays, going out and more.
Each chapter focuses on one subject, for example going out. In this chapter Gok has styled models in different outfit ideas as suggestions for the reader. He gives tips and tricks to help you create the perfect look.

Unfortunately I didn't enjoy this book as much, I felt it was a bit dated. It is an old book so that is why, but I just didn't find it as interesting as his other books.
I would recommend his more latest books before I would this.

Price: €14.50

That is all for my fashion book collection. I will do updates when I have more books to add to the collection.
I hope you enjoyed the post,  leave me a comment if you have read any of the books or if you are interested in any of them, I would love to hear from you.

Thank you for reading.

Love,

Tanya

xxx