I recently finished my last script of my anxiety medication, I am so happy to be finally free from them!
I had a few withdrawal symptoms, like headaches and the worst of all is the insomnia!
Before I was on the medication I began to suffer with really bad Insomnia, but the med's I was put on helped with that! Now that I'm off them, I'm really struggling to sleep at night!
The Insomnia I had before the tablets, was horrible, I used to lie there just thinking about the most horrible things, college, negative thoughts about myself, it wasn't fun!
Now I just lie there thinking about what I want to do next, with my channel and my blog, I even lie there rehearsing what I would even say in my videos!😂
It does get frustrating though, after like 3 hours I start to get irritated because I feel so tired, but I cant get comfortable and I cant sleep!
I tried so many natural remedies to help me sleep, lavender oil, having a bath before bed, turning off my phone, reading books and drinking herbal teas, but nothing seems to do the job! Have you an suggestions? leave me a comment if you do, I'm open to anything at this point!😂
On the bright side, I don't feel as numb as before, I noticed I am enjoying life more!
My emotional self is back too, but I was always like that growing up, if I seen someone do something nice for someone it used to make me feel so happy that I would nearly cry!😂
I recently watched a TV show about Dublin's general post office, it was recorded at Christmas time, seeing all the joy in people during that time of the year, and how people really helped each other made me so emotional! At that moment I was like wow I'm me again 😂 I know it sounds silly but that is me!
Although I am feeling myself again, I still have the anxiety and fear, but I understand that will never go away, I just need to learn to cope with it!
I really want to get a job, but I'm so scared.
When I was in college it was different, if I wasn't feeling good, I could go home when I wanted, or if I was having a really bad day I just wouldn't go in. If I got a job, these wouldn't really be an option for me and that scares me!
I keep trying to tell myself, there is more positives to getting a job than there are negatives, but its so hard to get it into my thick skull 😂
Iv been working on my YouTube channel, hoping it will help with my confidence, as it did before!
So far it is going well, obviously it is going to take time to build myself back up, but I'm trying to stay as productive and as positive as possible!
I was back at my Doctors the other day and I told her I was really struggling with my weight!
Since I started the medication last September I had put on 3 stone, it went on so quick that I have gotten deep, really red and sore stretch marks, I even got them in places I didn't even know you could!
She gave me a follow up appointment to come back and she is going to do a full weight check including my body fat percentage.....that will be fun!
I knew I put on weight, but I didn't think it was as bad as it is, until I done a fashion shoot the other day. I was actually in total shock!
I am determined to get myself back to the weight I used to be, I need to for my health and for my mind! I'm hoping that next year will be my year!
2017 will be my year, I need to make it my year!😂
I'm currently in bed with a throat infection! I must be seriously lacking in Vitamin C, considering I'm only over a really bad cold which I had 2 weeks ago!
Its killing me to be sick, I have serious lack in motivation!
I hope you are all having a great week and I hope you have an even better weekend!
Thank you for reading,
Love,
Tanya
x
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