Road To Recovery: A Trip To Spain!

 

Hello there!

I cant remember if I mentioned this in a post before, but I booked a holiday to Spain with both my sister and my boyfriend, we are all really good friends and decided this year all 3 of us would go to Spain!
My sister has never been on a proper sun holiday before, so we thought this would be a great experience for her!

As you can imagine my anxiety was through the roof, no surprise there, ever since we booked the holiday I was sick to my stomach anytime I even talked or heard about the trip. At one point I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to go, I just wanted to cancel it!
 I didn't cancel, I just avoided even thinking about it, and next thing I knew it was 2 days before I had to go!

As per usual I left everything last minute, I more or less had clothes from my last holiday so I didn't need to spend money on new ones! Living in Ireland I wouldn't even get the chance to wear summer clothes, so I didn't see much point in wasting money!

2 days before we were set to leave I met 2 of my old friends while I was out for coffee with James, we got talking and they invited us out for drinks that night. oblivious to the fact I had planned on getting my waxing done that night, I said yes! Luckily it was my sister doing my waxing (she is trained) so she done it for me as soon as I got home, no rushing for appointments, thank god!

That evening I was so tired and was still trying to finish my packing, I really didn't want to go out and on top of everything my anxiety had already kicked in about my holiday.
I decided, feck it I'm going out, I think I just got to the point where I was sick of missing out on fun catch ups with my friends and making new memory's, so anxious or not I went and I had an amazing time.
We laughed so hard I felt it in my stomach and it felt great, really great! That's when I realised how much I missed socialising with people and having these spur of the moment nights out!

Walking home after our drinking session, I felt great and I actually felt pumped about going on the holiday, yeah I was a little tipsy, but I honestly felt excited and positive about the holiday and my anxiety was just washed away.
Seeing how alcohol can really make your anxiety disappear, I now know why people drink to take the pain away, but its not worth it! It is a short term fix and I am definitely not going to go down that road!

The next morning I woke up and honestly I was waiting for my anxiety to hit me like a brick wall, but weirdly enough it didn't! I got up, packed my bag, got everything I needed and had everything all set out for my flight the next day!

I was prescribed xanax for my travel anxiety, but I avoided using it at all costs, I wanted to try and keep it just for when it was really needed! I really don't want to have to rely on drugs to help me deal with life, l want to get back in control of my mind and body!
I went into boots the same day and bought roll on lavender oil, just to see if it would help with my nerves. Later that night I tried it out and it must have worked because I didn't have any anxiety that night, and usually I would be a mess and I wouldn't be able to sleep, and boy did I sleep like a baby!

As soon as I woke up the next morning I took half a xanax, just to stop the anxiety from getting the chance to start, because when I get anxious my stomach acts up so bad and the last think I needed was to be sitting on a plane with a dodgy stomach!

I got on with my day with no problems, I didn't have to be at the airport until 5 in the afternoon so I had time to get myself together! At 4 we went and collected James and headed to the airport.

At this point I started getting pretty anxious so I took a xanax, but then again I'm sure everyone gets nervous walking through those security bleepers, but thankfully I got through it quickly and without any hassle. Once I was in the airport I was grand, I had a look in some of the shops and picked up a few bits for my trip. We then went into 1 of the bars and got food.

Waiting at the gate I got a bit nervous, mainly because they changed our gate last minute so we had to run to another. Once i got seated on the plane I was a bit more calm, strangely enough I get very excited when the plane takes off, and lands!
During the flight I watched Transformers on my tablet, YAY for technology!

The flight seemed pretty short because I was so preoccupied with my movie, but when they announced they were landing, it felt like ages!

To get to the hotel we had to get a bus, I hate buses, by this time my anxiety was starting, so I had to take half a tablet just so I wouldn't freak out on the bus!

I was glad to make it to the hotel, it was almost midnight when we arrived and all 3 of us were starving. We checked in and left our bags in the room, we went straight out hoping to find somewhere that was open and was still serving food, luckily we found a little bar near our hotel. The food was amazing, don't know if that was just because we were starving. I just got crispy chicken and chips, so adventurous right? :L

As you can tell from this post the hotel has WIFI, not amazing but its there.  While I am here I will be posting daily (hopefully), just letting you know what I'm getting up to and how my anxiety is treating me, while I am away from my comfort zone!
I will also add photos, if I can get them on my tablet, blog posts are always more interesting with photos!

I hope you enjoyed this post, it was a bit of a long one!
I'm just chilling on the balcony of my hotel and thought this would be the perfect time to do a post!

I hope you are all have a great day!

Love

Tanya

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