Road To Recovery: A Shocking Search in the Airport!

Hey my loves!

So I've been home just over 2 weeks and never got round to finishing my holiday posts!
The past week and a half I've been working on getting content ready for both my blog and YouTube channel! I have a few exciting ideas for Halloween!! Just hope they work out as planned!

My trip home was nerve wrecking to say the least! Our bus collected us at the hotel 20mins before it was due, but that wasn't too bad, I hate waiting!

On the bus the driver turns to us and says we just have to go collect a few people. Last year we were the last to be collected and this year we were the first, so that threw me off a little bit. I thought we would just be on the bus for 30mins max, as you may know, I don't do buses!
The driver informed me it would only be an extra 30mins, so I just sat back and listened to music.

2 and a half hours later!!! We still weren't at the airport, at this point I was beginning to feel panic setting in, I had taken a Xanax but I still felt a bit panicky!
Eventually we got to the airport; we went straight to the security. Once my bag went through I walked through the bleepers, grand no problem there.....until!

I went to get my bag and a woman came over with gloves on, the dread washed over me, I'd say the blood ran from my face!
'Sorry mam is this your bag?' 'Eh yeah!', at that she started unzipping it, looked around my clothes and came to a plastic bag which had gifts for my friends. As soon as I realised what she was going for, the blood ran straight back into my face!!
Out she pulled 3 life like penis lollipops I bought for friends, she held them up for her colleagues to see and they burst out laughing, well so did I it was pretty funny, the look on her face when she seen them!
 She was nice about it and put them back and closed my bag, and let me leave!

Once we were through, we went to get food; we still had 2 hours to wait for our flight!
The time flew by pretty quickly and we boarded our flight.
The flight back was grand; I sat and watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle the movies.

I was so happy to be home, I had a great holiday and I'm definitely going to miss the heat! But there is definitely nothing like being home!

I'm happy I enjoyed myself this year, last year I was a bit numb and couldn't let myself have proper fun!

Thank you for reading,

Lots of Love,

Tanya

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Halloween Costumes | Where To Buy | Ireland

Hey My Loves!

Halloween is fast approaching with just a month to go!
Halloween is one of the best times or year, it gives, not only the young generation but all generations the excuse to dress up!

I love getting dressed up for Halloween, even if I am just sitting at home handing out sweets to the children!

Buying costumes can be a tricky task, especially if you don't know where to look, or if you simply don't have the time to go hunting or even DIY-ing the look. So in this post I am going to share with you, websites where you can buy your costume in Ireland. This way you can sit back and relax and have your costume delivered straight to you!

The prices of costumes will vary depending on the style of costume and what it includes!

1. Littlewoods.ie

Prices from €9 to €1100 (All ages included)

484 to choose from 

Ladies: 141 to choose from

Prices from €12 to €80 

Offer a range of Plus Size

The best thing about Littlewoods is that you don't have to pay straight away, you can pay in full if you wish, or you can pay by monthly instalments.
If you are new to Littlewoods, they do offer a 20% off discount on your first credit order!
Delivery is free to anywhere in Ireland, and to make it even better, they offer free returns!!
 
The following are 2 costumes I picked from their website, which I think are pretty cool for Halloween.

1. Harley Quinn - Suicide Squad - €55.00

Shop Here

2. Mrs Day of the Dead - €34.00

Shop here

2. The Costume Shop.ie 

Ladies: Over 1000 to choose from

Prices from: €5.99 to €339.99

Offer Plus size

The costume shop offer free shipping in Ireland, on orders over €39.

Orders under €39, it will cost €4.99 for Standard shipping (1-3 working days) or you can pay €9.99 for next day delivery.

The costume shop do not offer free returns, but do offer a full refund if the product is returned within 14 days.

The following are 2 costumes I thought were eye catching on the website! 

1. Dark Water Siren - €104.99

Shop Here

2. Vampiress of Versailles - €280.99

Shop Here

3. Funidelia.ie

Close to 10,000 costumes to choose from!

Ladies: 2986 Costumes to choose from

Prices from €4.99 to €599.99

Offer a range of Plus Size

Funidelia offer free delivery over the cost of €100. 

Standard delivery cost is €5.99 (5-6 Working Days), or €9.99 for 24hr to 48hr delivery (Working Ways).

Funidelia do not offer free returns, but do offer to arrange collection of the product at the cost of €9.99. You do not have to use this offer, you can send it to them through your local post office, if you prefer.

Again here are 2 I picked from the website, which I though were fun!

1.  Pirates of the Caribbean Deluxe Costume - €149.99

Shop Here

2. Women Glowing Figure Costume - €54.99

Shop Here

4. Fancy Dress Store.ie

Ladies: 103 Costumes to choose from

Prices From €6.50 to €70.00

Offers arrange of Plus Size

Fancy Dress Store offers free Irish delivery on orders over €49. Standard delivery cost is €5.99 (3-5 working days) and they do not offer express delivery.

Customers are entitled to a 14 day refund if they are not happy with the product.
If an item is returned past the 14 days, they are only entitled to a credit note to spend on the website.

They do not offer free returns and a 5% credit card fee is charged.

Here are 2 items I choose from their website!

1. Sugar Skull Cat Costume - €42.99

Shop Here

2. Evil Madame Costume - €40.00

Shop Here

5. Costume Shaker.ie

Huge Selection of Women's Costumes

Prices From €3.38 to €76.47

Size range from size 8 to size 18

Costume Shaker offers free delivery to Ireland on orders over €35 (delivers in 2 working days). Standard shipping costs €8.12 (2 working days), they do not offer next day or express delivery to Ireland.

Costumer shaker offers full refunds, if items are returned within 7 working days.

They do not offer free return shipping, items must be sent back by the customer through a delivery service of their choice eg. AnPost

And finally here are the 2 items I chose from this website!

1. Fever Flapper Dazzle Costume - €49.02

Shop here

2. Bananas in Pyjamas Costume - €65.52

Shop Here

That is it for my list of costume websites, I hope this post will be of use to anyone looking for a fun costume within Ireland!

I hope you all enjoyed, if you did leave me a comment and let me know what you are dressing up as for Halloween? or even do you still like to dress up? I'd love to here from you!

Thank you for reading,

Lots of love

Tanya

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Vampire Nails | Halloween Tutorial

Hey my loves!
This is the first year I can finally film some Halloween tutorials and I am so excited to get stuck into them!
Here is the first one I filmed, it is a quick and easy tutorial on how to create Vampire teeth using false nails!

It is simple, but a fun addition to a costume, or even just for the fun of Halloween!
I hope you all enjoy, if you did please help me out by giving it a like, and if you would like to see more don't forget to Subscribe, its free after all :) Also leave me a comment here or on the video if you would like to see more videos like this!

Thank you for reading and watching, I hope you all are having an amazing week!

Lots of love,

Tanya

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Road To Recovery: Sun, Sand & Thunder Storms

Hello there!
I didn't get a chance to do daily updates on the holiday, I got really distracted by a book I was reading!

The holiday was great and we just relaxed most of the days. I didn't want to go on a holiday to explore everything, I just wanted a nice chilled week in the sun!
The heat was unreal, it went as high as 36 degrees, weirdly enough I could handle it, the humidity wasn't anything like it is in Ireland!

One evening myself and James went for a stroll on the beach. We thought it would be romantic to walk through the water and sand together and watch the sun go down. Lets just say it didn't quite turn out like we thought it would! The sand on the beach was just pebbles, and when we walked through the water I started to sink in the wet sand, it literally went up to my shins! James had to pull me out, then my flip flop came off and I was gripping it with 2 of my toes shouting 'me flip flop!!' I'd say anyone watching got one hell of a laugh!!
The 2 of us laughed the whole way back to the hotel, it was too funny!

The next day all three of us went to a cafe on the beach front, we got waffles, crepes and Kit-Kat Frappes.

We walked around the town looking in some of the gift shops to see what we could bring home for our families.
The rest of the week we spent at the pool and soaking up as much sun as we could get!

I read a book in 2 and a half days, 1st to Die by James Patterson, I just couldn't put it down!
I have finished 4 of his books from the 'NYPD Red' series and now I am starting the 'Women's murder club' series. If you are interested I will do a post reviewing his books!

We went for cocktails most nights, but some nights we sat in and had a movie night! It was funny, all three of us huddled around my 10" tablet screen!
We watched Skiptrace with Johnny Knoxville and Jackie Chan, it was actually pretty funny and then we watched the Purge Election Year, that was also really good

On our last night, there was a serious thunder storm, there was fork lightening and the thunder shook our room! The rain was so heavy and there was also hailstones, that sounded like rocks!
My sister was terrified, she never seen or heard a storm that bad before, but that is normal for Spain!
I love thunder storms, but I got really annoyed because I couldn't sleep with the noise and I had to be up at 8am!

The holiday was good and we really did need the break! The WIFI in the hotel was terrible, but then again I didn't want to be stuck with my face in my phone for the whole week.
It is going to be a long day travelling home, but I'm really looking forward to it, I cant wait to just get into a routine and get back to my diet and exercise!

Thank you for reading!

I hope you are all enjoying your weekend!

Love

Tanya

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Road To Recovery: Too Much, Too Soon!

Hey Lovely!

I woke up so early this morning, I actually felt as if I was hung-over, just without the wild drinks the night before!
Breakfast is served early every morning; I just had a typical Irish style breakfast, bacon, beans and egg!

Although we were all tired from our travel, we didn't waste any time, we went straight into town after breakfast. We needed to pick up a few things for our room that we didn't bring with us. It was pretty handy as myself and James have been here before so we knew were everything was.
In the supermarket my sister was in shock because of the price of alcohol, it is so cheap over here, it is almost, if not more than half the price you would pay in Ireland!

After leaving the shopping back in the hotel, we went out to show my sister the town.
We found this cute little American Dounts and coffee bar, which we didn't see last year, we all got Frappes, talking about heavy!!
I got a coffee Frappe with caramel, but little did I know, they literally fill a third of the cup with caramel sauce and topped it off with bright green cream on top (insert sick emoji here :L).

After Lunch we went back to our room and I just read a book on the balcony and soaked up the sun!

Although the day wasn't even over I felt like we did so much, after an hour or 2 we headed up to the pool and went for a swim, well I just floated.
I really don't like going under the water, I would need goggles and a nose plug if I was going to try that :L.
I can swim and I love swimming, but it's only been recently that I just couldn't bring myself to go under water, god I am a strange one!

You think we would be wrecked by now, but no, we decided to go find a nice coffee shop, you know me; I need a good strong coffee! We found a really cute Italian restaurant and we sat out in the sun enjoying our coffees.

After dinner we went out to this cute little bar that does really nice cocktails, and again so cheap! I got a Blue Lagoon; it was so good and very refreshing!

 Later we sat out on the balcony with a few drinks and played Cards Against Humanity, I swear that game is just too funny, especially if you have a good sense of humor.

We all started to get tired, so we went to bed, it was well after midnight and we would need to be up before 10am tomorrow if we wanted breakfast!
Even though it was only our first day, we all felt like we were here for days, we just done so much!

We are planning on chilling at the pool for the day tomorrow, go swimming and do some sunbathing.

So far I'm already having a great time, last year I just couldn't relax,  mainly because I was so stressed with college and anxiety, I just wasn't able to let go and have fun!

Thank you for reading, and I hope where ever you are, you are all having a great day/night!

Love

Tanya

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Road To Recovery: A Trip To Spain!

 

Hello there!

I cant remember if I mentioned this in a post before, but I booked a holiday to Spain with both my sister and my boyfriend, we are all really good friends and decided this year all 3 of us would go to Spain!
My sister has never been on a proper sun holiday before, so we thought this would be a great experience for her!

As you can imagine my anxiety was through the roof, no surprise there, ever since we booked the holiday I was sick to my stomach anytime I even talked or heard about the trip. At one point I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to go, I just wanted to cancel it!
 I didn't cancel, I just avoided even thinking about it, and next thing I knew it was 2 days before I had to go!

As per usual I left everything last minute, I more or less had clothes from my last holiday so I didn't need to spend money on new ones! Living in Ireland I wouldn't even get the chance to wear summer clothes, so I didn't see much point in wasting money!

2 days before we were set to leave I met 2 of my old friends while I was out for coffee with James, we got talking and they invited us out for drinks that night. oblivious to the fact I had planned on getting my waxing done that night, I said yes! Luckily it was my sister doing my waxing (she is trained) so she done it for me as soon as I got home, no rushing for appointments, thank god!

That evening I was so tired and was still trying to finish my packing, I really didn't want to go out and on top of everything my anxiety had already kicked in about my holiday.
I decided, feck it I'm going out, I think I just got to the point where I was sick of missing out on fun catch ups with my friends and making new memory's, so anxious or not I went and I had an amazing time.
We laughed so hard I felt it in my stomach and it felt great, really great! That's when I realised how much I missed socialising with people and having these spur of the moment nights out!

Walking home after our drinking session, I felt great and I actually felt pumped about going on the holiday, yeah I was a little tipsy, but I honestly felt excited and positive about the holiday and my anxiety was just washed away.
Seeing how alcohol can really make your anxiety disappear, I now know why people drink to take the pain away, but its not worth it! It is a short term fix and I am definitely not going to go down that road!

The next morning I woke up and honestly I was waiting for my anxiety to hit me like a brick wall, but weirdly enough it didn't! I got up, packed my bag, got everything I needed and had everything all set out for my flight the next day!

I was prescribed xanax for my travel anxiety, but I avoided using it at all costs, I wanted to try and keep it just for when it was really needed! I really don't want to have to rely on drugs to help me deal with life, l want to get back in control of my mind and body!
I went into boots the same day and bought roll on lavender oil, just to see if it would help with my nerves. Later that night I tried it out and it must have worked because I didn't have any anxiety that night, and usually I would be a mess and I wouldn't be able to sleep, and boy did I sleep like a baby!

As soon as I woke up the next morning I took half a xanax, just to stop the anxiety from getting the chance to start, because when I get anxious my stomach acts up so bad and the last think I needed was to be sitting on a plane with a dodgy stomach!

I got on with my day with no problems, I didn't have to be at the airport until 5 in the afternoon so I had time to get myself together! At 4 we went and collected James and headed to the airport.

At this point I started getting pretty anxious so I took a xanax, but then again I'm sure everyone gets nervous walking through those security bleepers, but thankfully I got through it quickly and without any hassle. Once I was in the airport I was grand, I had a look in some of the shops and picked up a few bits for my trip. We then went into 1 of the bars and got food.

Waiting at the gate I got a bit nervous, mainly because they changed our gate last minute so we had to run to another. Once i got seated on the plane I was a bit more calm, strangely enough I get very excited when the plane takes off, and lands!
During the flight I watched Transformers on my tablet, YAY for technology!

The flight seemed pretty short because I was so preoccupied with my movie, but when they announced they were landing, it felt like ages!

To get to the hotel we had to get a bus, I hate buses, by this time my anxiety was starting, so I had to take half a tablet just so I wouldn't freak out on the bus!

I was glad to make it to the hotel, it was almost midnight when we arrived and all 3 of us were starving. We checked in and left our bags in the room, we went straight out hoping to find somewhere that was open and was still serving food, luckily we found a little bar near our hotel. The food was amazing, don't know if that was just because we were starving. I just got crispy chicken and chips, so adventurous right? :L

As you can tell from this post the hotel has WIFI, not amazing but its there.  While I am here I will be posting daily (hopefully), just letting you know what I'm getting up to and how my anxiety is treating me, while I am away from my comfort zone!
I will also add photos, if I can get them on my tablet, blog posts are always more interesting with photos!

I hope you enjoyed this post, it was a bit of a long one!
I'm just chilling on the balcony of my hotel and thought this would be the perfect time to do a post!

I hope you are all have a great day!

Love

Tanya

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Road To Recovery: Update!

Hey there!

God it feels like a long time since I last updated my blog, and lets be honest it has been!

As I had mentioned before, I was given an extension from college, which meant they gave me the summer to complete my work, due to my anxiety disorder.

I have literally spent the last 2 months working everyday, trying to get my work done. No matter how much time and effort I put into it I just didn't feel like I was getting anywhere.
The last 2 weeks before my assigned date were the most stressful, I began having extreme anxiety, thinking I wasn't going to have everything done!

I worked so hard all year round while struggling with my mental health and all I kept thinking was 'I'm going to fail', 'I'm not going to have anything done'.
As the time drew closer I got worse, 2 days before my work was due to go in I started getting severe panic and I couldn't focus on anything I had to do. I was all over the place, I didn't know what to work on next, it was a disaster!

I stayed up all night 2 nights before my exam, worse mistake ever! From the lack of sleep I was even more emotional, I kept crying, having panic attacks and all I wanted to do was give up! Nothing was going right for me!
The night before I was due to go I still wasn't done, I left half of my notebooks and portfolio empty and I was so disappointed because I wanted to make it the best it could be but time just want on my side, eventually I just gave up and went to bed.

For my exam I had to give a presentation of my work and I never even had time to come up with what I was going to say!
When I got to the college I set up my work and then the tutors came in for my presentation, I started to talk and I couldn't think straight, I kept jumping from one thing to another, it was all so confusing and messy! I'm usually pretty good with giving presentations but this past year a lot of things have changed with me!

At the end of the presentation the tutors began to ask me some questions based on my work, one of then was 'where do you see your work?' and that was enough to send me over the edge, and I broke down crying!
I was mortified, 4 people standing in front of me watching me cry like a baby!

The reason I cried was because I hated my collection, my honest answer to her question would of been 'I see it in a bin' but I didn't say that, luckily.
I decided to be honest, I told them I wasn't happy with my collection, I felt no connection to it. I was disappoint with it because I know deep down I can do so much better, I have the skill and the ability to do so much more but unfortunately I didn't get to show what I truly can do!

It was a tough year and trying to be creative while you are so numb and so unhappy can be hard, but for some artists it works, they channel it into creating amazing work, but it just doesn't work for me!

At the end of the day it is done and dusting, nothing can be done now to change it! All I can do now is hope and pray that I get my degree, I really don't want all my hard work and struggles to have been for nothing!

Well that was deep :L, on a brighter note, I'm now free and ready to start the next chapter in my life! Hopefully it will be a little less stressful!

I have decided to start doing my updates on my road to recovery again, because I'm not quite there yet!
I may not be able to do daily updates, but I will update as often as I can.
I also won't be putting days on the heading anymore, it just gets a little to messy, especially when I don't update everyday :L

That is pretty much it for now, I will have more posts coming soon now that I am done with college!
I am so excited for fall!! I have so many ideas planned for posts and videos, so stay tuned to see what I have in store ;)

Thank you for reading and I hope you are all doing well!!

Love,

Tanya

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